Best Conversations

I have taken this reflection point quite literally, as some of the most valuable conversations throughout this paper have happened outside of the readings themselves. In particular, conversations with Bobby Luke and Donna Campbell have played an important role in shaping my learning and understanding.

These discussions have covered a wide range of topics, including research methodologies, my developing research direction, relational theory, Kaupapa Māori, and different methodological approaches. We have also talked about scholars and academics whose work may be relevant to my research journey. Often these conversations leave me with new ideas, questions, and directions to explore, so I have developed a habit of making notes on my phone to ensure I can return to them later.

One of the things I have appreciated most is the way these conversations help bridge the gap between theory and practice. Concepts that can sometimes feel abstract within academic texts become easier to understand when discussed through examples, experiences, and lived practice. This has been particularly valuable as I continue to develop my own understanding of research.

Bobby has also been a significant source of new terminology and concepts. Through our conversations, I have been introduced to ideas and approaches that I may not have encountered otherwise, such as the word - phenomenology lol. I am continually learning through our discussions, and I often leave them with a deeper understanding than when I arrived.

Reflecting on this paper has reminded me that learning does not happen in isolation. While the readings provide important foundations, the conversations that surround them have been equally valuable. They have challenged my thinking, expanded my understanding, and helped me make sense of ideas that initially felt unfamiliar or complex.

Challenges

One of the biggest challenges I faced throughout this paper was the language. Many of the readings introduced new concepts, theories, and kupu that were completely unfamiliar to me. At times, I found myself reading the same paragraph multiple times before I could begin to understand what was being discussed. The academic language used by some authors was particularly challenging, and there were occasions when I felt unsure whether I had interpreted the kōrero correctly.

Another challenge for me was the heavily text-based nature of the readings. As a visual practitioner, I often learn by seeing, making, and experiencing. While I understand the importance of engaging with written scholarship, I found myself wishing for more visual examples, diagrams, images, or practical applications that could help bring some of the theories to life.

Even now, as I reflect on the paper, I remain curious about how accurately I have understood some of the readings. I look forward to hearing Donna's feedback because there are still moments where I question whether I have fully grasped the author's intentions. However, I have come to realise that understanding develops over time. Many of the texts that felt difficult during the first reading became much clearer after discussion, reflection, and revisiting them later.

What surprised me most was that even when I disagreed with an author's position, I could usually understand how they arrived there. Rather than seeing ideas as simply right or wrong, I found myself becoming more interested in understanding different perspectives and the experiences, histories, and assumptions that shaped them. This has encouraged me to approach research with greater openness and curiosity. I do not feel the need to agree with every theory or methodology I encounter, but I do value the opportunity to understand why others think the way they do. In many ways, that has been one of the most valuable parts of this learning journey.

Ideas that shaped my thinking

As I reflect on this paper as a whole, I can see how much my understanding of research has evolved. At the beginning of this journey, I viewed research primarily as a process that supported my creative practice. While that is still true, I now understand that research carries a much deeper responsibility. Through the readings, discussions, and reflections, I have gained a greater appreciation for ethics, accountability, positionality, and the impact research can have on people and communities. I also became aware of the complexities of insider research. Initially, I assumed being an insider was entirely beneficial, but I now understand that proximity to people, communities, and knowledge brings additional responsibilities and challenges that require careful navigation.

One thing I noticed throughout the paper was how strongly I connected with Māori researchers. Part of this may be because some of them are familiar to me through my own networks and experiences. However, I think it is also because I can visualise them as I read their work. I can imagine them sharing their whakaaro and kōrero in person. There is a familiarity and connectedness within their writing that makes the ideas feel accessible and alive. Their work often felt less like reading theory and more like participating in a conversation.

This paper has also made me reflect on my own position within both the university and the wider community. Entering this Master's programme, I brought with me an existing profile as a designer, artist, business owner, and community practitioner. I now recognise that this comes with expectations and responsibilities. The way I conduct myself as a researcher reflects not only on me, but also on the communities and relationships I am connected to.

Perhaps the best way to describe myself at this stage is as a sponge. Throughout this paper I have absorbed theories, philosophies, methodologies, discussions, stories, and countless new kupu. I have approached this learning with an open mind, recognising that I do not need to agree or disagree with everything I encounter. Instead, I have found myself holding onto the ideas that connect with me while allowing others to simply sit alongside my learning. This process has helped me build my own understanding of research rather than adopting someone else's view wholesale.

While every reading in this paper has contributed to my growth, there are several scholars whose work I know I will continue to revisit. Linda Tuhiwai Smith's work has fundamentally shaped my understanding of Indigenous research. Russell Bishop's writings on relationships and connectedness have strengthened my thinking around relationality and accountability. Timote Vaioleti's discussions of Talanoa and vā have also provided important ways of understanding relational space and connection. These are not readings I see as completed; rather, they are foundations I expect to return to throughout my Master's journey and beyond.

Most importantly, this paper has helped me understand that research is not separate from who I am. It is connected to my creative practice, my whakapapa, my relationships, and my responsibilities. I leave this paper not with all the answers, but with a stronger sense of who I am becoming as a researcher.